And he trotted off to the evergreen pastures...

Out with his best friend ever. 

Well, it has been a very tough week and a bit.

Everything seemed fine on Friday 24th April when we came to the stable. Plan was to lunge and film a bit. We mucked out and then took the horses in. Immediately when our boy got into the stable, he started pawing the shavings and kicking his belly... We looked at each other in disbelief... as he went down and rolled... Oh No!
Well, it was out with him and walking while at the same time phoned the vet. Every time we came in, he started pawing etc., so it was a very clear colic...
Vet came and examined him back and front. Nothing obvious. Painkillers, sedative... and we were advised to keep an eye on him and walk him if he was restless.
So, we prepared for a night at the stables. All set up at the upstairs when after 10 pm we started hearing banging from the stable.. Went down to check and he was restless again. So, walkies for 15 min. Then he was ok for about 15 min before getting again restless and wanting to lie down... so on we went for an hour or more. He did start farting, so we decided to continue the walking and resting for a while to see if it would ease up. Nope. Around midnight he started rolling quite unsettlingly and would not calm down at all. So, after that we basically kept on walking and walking... phoned the emergency vet sometime just before 1 am when things did not improve at all. They told us that we were doing the right things... so to phone back in 30 min. We did. No change. So, they were coming up. The vet came up after 2 am. Same thing: check on both ends, and nothing found. Said that there's not much more he can do but to give some painkiller. And then we'll just have to wait and see. At this point our poor horse was in such pain that he did not want to stop anymore. Only the sedative made him stand. After the injection of painkiller I let him loose from the lead rope in his box and he immediately went down to roll... At this point the vet turned around and thought that this is not good... the painkiller should have worked. So, he phoned to the horse clinic and they decided that it would be best to load him up and take him there.

Him and the love of his life... He and mares mixed well in general.
But this girlfriend was extra special.  

We packed our things, got the trailer and then returned to see if we could shift our boy, who was now calmer and lying down. Very happy that the vet and his students had stayed to help out, since it took a bit of time to make him get up. He did eventually and walked in the trailer with rather little hassle.
Very lucky to have a university horse clinic just 30 min away... Travel went smoothly and our horse perked up at the clinic. Immaculately behaved again. At this time it was close to 5 am on Saturday.
Ok, same thing again: the vet on call checked him back and front. This time she felt something wrong with the small intestine. Some blood and gut fluid tests... blood tests with a bit high white cell count, but nothing else, fluid was normal. Recommendation was to operate. We went with it. And then it was time for us to leave...
Took the trailer back to the yard and then headed home. Was home around 7 am. Not slept a wink...
We managed to get 2 hours of sleep before we were woken up by the surgeon phoning that the operation had gone as well as possible. Gas only in the guts, small intestine had twisted once on itself and once around cecum.. no real damage however, so needed only a small incision to let the gas out and then untwisted the guts etc. Critical situation, but all as well as can be.
He woke up some 4-5 hours later. All going ok.
The night did not go well though and he was in pain.. However he was perking up during the day. Same for Monday. Got phoned in the morning that he had a bad night and the stomach had to be flushed lots of times... gut had not come into action yet either. However, during the day he again felt better. We got to see him finally in the afternoon and he was calm, had just pooped! And was tucking into some little bit of haylage we gave him. So, we left feeling ever so slightly optimistic. We knew he was still critical, but his gut was moving and he was eating...

Fresh New Grass, nothing beats that! 

Then on Tuesday morning 7:45 (28th April) I just about missed a phone call from the clinic... Tried to phone them back in panic mode, knowing that it would be bad news... However, they had already phoned the husband, who was at work. Our poor boy had a very high fever and was in quite a lot of pain. This was it. Time to go. Luckily my husband's work is just beside the clinic, so he went to say goodbye... I did not want them to wait for me to get there and prolong his agony any longer than necessary, so I stayed home. He was calm and had already had the first sedative when he got there. Said his goodbyes and thanked him for being with us as long as he had. And then it was time for him to go.

Our dear darling Usko, rest in peace. 

Uskoni, 23.05. 2003 - 28.4. 2015

There was an autopsy, but have not as yet heard about it. Announcements to all friends, family, ex-owner, horse registers... Devastatingly sad days... But incredible support from all! Such lovely messages from even totally unknown people.

The colic came out of nowhere. He had not had any trouble before... and everything was normal. Our routines were the same, food was the same... He behaved totally normally up until that Friday afternoon when he came in. Also had eaten his breakfast and lunch normally that day... poop was the same when I mucked out... No unusual behavior either earlier that day... We are totally baffled. Maybe he ate some bad bit of soil or roots or something in their bare winter paddock..? Maybe there was something else going on for longer that just culminated on Friday..? No idea. We or anyone else noticed nothing unusual... Hoping that the autopsy will shed some more light on the matter.

First day with us here. (co Sofia Lövgren-Hansson)

We have so much video material from that week... so I watched it all and tried to see whether there was something different with him. But no. Even the day before we had been riding and everything was normal. The only thing was that he was a bit stiff, but even that was normal, since it had been very windy for the past couple weeks and he got always stiff like that if it was windy...
I analyse everything, but no matter how hard I thought of this and that, I just cannot get to anything that may have caused it... So, I'm truly hoping that the vets will find something obvious.

So, a week has passed. Tears have flown quite freely, but slowly the bouts of crying have lessened. Made our last video journal, an extensive photo book, and planning to braid and knot some bracelets, earrings and keyrings from the tail hairs we got from him.
Don't know quite what to do with myself since I'm not going to the stables every day... Have been there though twice now. First time was tough... but it gets better.

The stress of him being ill and at the clinic was massive. Every time the phone went, we panicked and feared for the worst... After Tuesday the stress was gone, but we were left with total sadness. And by Sunday we were both ill with a sore throat, awful sniffles and general misery... quite normal for the body to react this way I suppose.

Anyway, I realized pretty soon that I simply cannot go on without a horse. It's become a habit that is hard to shift during these 12+ years to go to stables every day... I have my eye on a rare occasion of a Finnhorse for sale in Sweden. We shall see if this one is for us, or whether I'll be heading across the narrow sea to find one.
But in the meanwhile I'll do lots of baking, gardening and helping out at the stables some mornings... The next horse will appear when it will... I have learned to be patient with these things.
What will be will be. No matter what I'll do, the past won't come back, so we just have to gaze into the future.